Soooooo, I decided to go check out the impeachment motion for President Zuma at Parliament yesterday, cause you know, you don’t get to witness one of those everyday? It was quite an eye-opening experience, to witness the democratic processes of this country in front of my very eyes.
I kinda went just to see the main peeps speak, Honourable Maimaine, Honourable Malema and some of the top six. Then I pretty much left around 5:30 when I could see that this wasn’t really going anywhere. For starters, I can see why things don’t get decided on in this country. Like they legit spent an hour and 15 minutes arguing about whether the Madam Speaker should chair this particular debate because of her affiliation to the ANC.
After many a “Honourable Malema, you are out of order…Honourable Malema” and various other political party members explicitly stating that her bias was unwelcome in this debate, she eventually still ended up hosting this thing (meh).
So like Maimane showed all the flames yesterday. He’s a homie. Basically in that eloquent voice of his, he was all like today will demonstrate that the ANC ruling party was complicit in the president violating the constitution and that the cancer of corruption has spoiled every single level of the party. There is not one person safe from the corruption virus.
Peeps applauded, it was beautiful. LIKE WHY CAN’T PEOPLE VOTE FOR THIS MAN HE IS LIFE. ANC, you need to get on poaching him from the DA. White people love him man.
ANYWAY, then Comrade Malema came forward with some flames of his own. Oh by the way, congrats on your degree man. You’re more qualified than the person running our country. And he was all like why are we all standing here saying the same shit we’ve BEEN saying for months, and that we had already said in Parliament after the Public Protector revealed her findings, when nothing will change? Because the majority party will rule in favour of Zuma because they are blind to what is in the interests of the party and the economy.
But pretty much in a nutshell, it was a shit show, peeps were pointing and screaming, I wish I could bring popcorn to get the full movie theatre experience. Shot for the faith in the politics of this country first hand. I’M OFFICIALLY STARTING MY OWN POLITICAL PARTY.
Namaste Honourable Parliament Members
(Besides the ANC one’s, cause they suck, NO PEACE FOR YOU).
Soooooo I decided I’d have a go at attending a Management Accounts lecture this past Friday. I actually learned some things about return on investment and maximising shareholder value and all those fancy accounting terms and working capital and current vs productive assets. Riveting stuff.
Then some other guy went on this hour schpiel about how much time GDA students shold be putting into their degree and I also learned quite a lot. I learned that you guys are heartless. This is like the last year my friends actually have to live their best lives before they embark on a soul crushing journey making copious amounts of money for the oppressive capitalist machine.
12 hours a day? Kay like peeps are only awake for 16 hours in a day, and they’re already attending lectures and stuff doing Saturday tests and all those commercey things like can they live their lives please? Also, did that lecture really have to be an entire hour? We got it the first time
- Y’all are doing averagely compared to last year
- Become a slave to this degree
- But you’ll be fine…hopefully
- We kinda believe in you
Chill out guuuyyyyssss, let these kids enjoy their last few months of freedom.
If you do not comply I will make sure to strip you of all your assets when I dismantle the capitalist machine
Dearest African National Congress,
Yoh, the last couple of years have been quite a shit show hey? The onset of neoliberal economic policies that were necessary in order to secure international support, the onslaught of corruption among your leaders and the steadily rising crime and poverty.
You can’t keep blaming Apartheid for your fucks ups. Yes you inherited a country that was like on the brink of collapse, and Apartheid has produced a lot of the socio-economic disparities between majority of the population and minorities, but like SHEEEETTTTTT, the last 22 years is on you.
This is not about Mandeezy, neither is it about Mbeki. But President Zuma. Eish guys how could you do this to our country. That man is fucking up the country, ruining our economy and creating tension within ANC ranks. The public wants him gone. As the party that’s supposed to be represented us and stuff, you should listen.
This recent stuff with the con court and Zuma has set a precedent for future leaders and has set up a degree of accountability. Which is cool and all. But dearesrt ANC you must realise that President Zuma is ruining your party, and that will not bode well for future elections.
Get rid of the swine, and tune the Democratic Alliance so that you can poach Mmuisi Maimane. As it stands now, Mmusi will not see the presidency as a DA representative. He’s married to a white wife and although that has nothing to do with how competent he would be as a ruler (yoh, Mmusi is a HOMIE), the uneducated black population will always see him as a traitor.
As it stands, Y’all gonna be in power for a while, so can you guys like stop faffing around and actually do something please? Starting with getting rid of Zuma and all your corrupt cronies.
You remember the Freedom Charter right? That’s the good shit, your current leader is undermining every fibre of your parties being. He like Donald Trump right now, that ain’t right.
Yay for freedom and democracy and all that but GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BRUHS
THIS COUNTRY HAS HAD ENOUGH, OTHERWISE I WILL COME FOR YOU, JOIN THE ANC AND DISMANTLE IT FROM THE INSIDE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Namaste, may peace be with you all.
Do the right thing,
Defending The Quirky.
We need to get our priorities straight ASAP. People are dying and shit while we’re sipping cocktails living La Vida. It’s time we make a change.
Kay so apparently there isn’t a Wikipedia page on “social capitalism” (gonna write that shit)- which can be defined as a free market economic system geared towards environmental conservation and social issues. The aim of the game here is for profits to be redirected to saving humanity instead of the pockets of a small few.
It’s a hybrid system between socialism and capitalism, whereby the means of production are intellectual capital, social capital and creative capital. Since these things belong to individuals, it will inherently be private.
Social welfare is the responsibility of government and Corporate Social Responsibility efforts by the private sector. Heavy regulation and taxation for multinational corporations. Heavy taxes for the rich as well. Basic and higher education must be free for economic upliftment.
The system would be regulated closely by the judiciary and stick to democratic and human rights principles. Redistribution of resources is central, including land and capital. Environmental sustainability policies must govern the use of resources.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is, let’s use our privilege to change the world. People need our help, and we’re in a position to do so. Short term profit gains over long term stability must be eliminated. And Wall Street needs to go down. The Judiciary needs to hold those accountable for he degradation of our planet and the daylight robbery of ordinary citizens.
Dear Mother Nature,
I’m so sorry about what we have done to you. You are all so powerful and you give us life and this is how we have replayed you. You’re dying and need to be fixed. Through Social Capitalism, it’s our duty as humans to fix you for future generations and all living beings.
Dear White Males,
Thank you for you contribution to industrialization and civilization (build on the backs of black bodies but let’s not go into that now), this modern world is a product of your aggressive and patriarchal structure. No but really, thanks guys, technology and stuff is cool. I think however it’s time you took a seat. No one is trying to take anything away from you, but we need to balance the scales. Women and POC’s need to self determinate and upliftment and dismantling the patriarchy is crucial for that. Also, step aside a little so others can do things too? No wonder Hollywood movies are all about you.
And finally, Dear The Force/Supreme Being
Why did you give people complete autonomy to make choices? Now look how we fucked up the world and we killing each other and shit. Just make it stop, humanity is ruined we’re heading for disaster. Help us out please?
Kay sick, that’s all.